I’m not giving up. I feel that’s important to mention, at least to say. Write. Type, even.
It kind of gives this a note of “Don’t worry about me! It’s all good, just a minor hitch!” Some kind of possibility of continuing, preventing (or at least delaying) the killing blow. Or denying the undeniable, that first stage of grief.
Have I failed? In some regards, yes. I mean, it’s been what, eleven days, during that time I’ve not truly made however-many hours on this. But I think I’ve learnt something, at least one essential thing, which has been at the core of my issues.
To me, it seems that it’s essential that you have the support of your immediate community, those you live with. So, obviously, your family, or flat mates, co-workers if you’re mad enough to do this without getting a week off.
At the very least, you want them to either agree, or at worst, be ambivalent, to what you’re doing. They don’t have to help you out and run into your room with a brass band and a bucket of cold water whenever you oversleep, although that would be the best situation. But you don’t want them to disagree with you. You don’t want to spend significant portions of conversations arguing that this is what you want to do, for whatever reason and because you have whatever rights to do it.
That’s the situation I found myself in. Now, granted, it wasn’t my entire family that seemed to have a problem with it, but there were/are one or two key players in the matter. And I think a lot of the issues that I had stem from that lack of support, the psychological affect that seemingly always being at odds with everyone has.
So, as a result, I don’t plan on blogging on a day-to-day manner regarding this again. My apologies on that, because even though I’ll be making more attempts, I just seem to stumble too much, and it’s gotten to a point where I’d rather stumble in private as opposed to going “Let’s do this gonna do this Oh no fell over Let’s go again No wait sorry” over and over. That said, I will maintain some kind of record in case I ever manage to adapt, in which case I’ll post about it.
I’ve seen some people say that they’d be interested in trying this, and to those people, I suggest the following advice:
- As above, have support.
- Get your hands on some television shows, or lots of films. The entertainment will distract your brain, and that’s important. I found music didn’t work as well as something with both an audio and visual component – beats me why, but there you go. I believe action-y stuff will work best, as you don’t have to think all that hard while watching it. So go out and get that box set of Lost, grab the entire Stargate franchise from a friend, maybe even the X-Files. Just keep the eyes looking at something, something new, interesting without being too intellectual. Unless you dream Maths, of course, in which case I’d recommend a film called Primer.
- If it’s Winter, either ensure control of a heater (environment control device, not a gun) or blankets. It’s not nice to have to drag yourself out of bed when it’s five degrees centigrade above frrrrreezing.
- Somewhat related to the above: Don’t lie idly in bed.
- If you get a headache, remember: It’s not a tumour.*
*Disclaimer: It may actually be a tumour.
- And, finally, good luck.
And with that, I’m off to install Debian on this machine, which won’t boot from a DVD drive. Fun.