A Rambling on Tea

I have found that caffeinated drinks, such as tea, stain clothing like jealous lovers. There seems to be very little reward to the dangers they bring. And hence I wonder why I drink tea at the quantity I do.

First there is the core substance itself. I refer, of course, to the boiling water. As many of my friends or acquaintances can attest to, I have burnt myself many a time while preparing, drinking, or holding tea. The burns are not bad, of course, although my yelps, led on by a low pain tolerance, would suggest otherwise. Such damage due to the heat of the liquid tends to be to my ego rather than my more mortal tissues, although a dulled tongue I am no stranger to.

I should perhaps clarify: I drink tea without milk. Which may be strange, because I couldn’t stand coffee without milk, but I argue that the tastes of coffee and tea are quite different things. Unfortunately, soy milk has a tendency to curdle and separate from the tea at high temperatures, which only adds to the insult caused by the universally disgusting taste of soy products, and I find that non-UHT regular milk can be both somewhat rare and, even when requested, not necessarily a given.

Memo to my nasal system: I will never forgive you for the allergies you thrust upon me so. Never.

But temperature is one thing, and a temporary thing at that. By far the worst danger of caffeinated drinks is their capability to stain.

In all honesty, I’m somewhat surprised that the world’s militaries haven’t found a way to weaponize  the pigments in tea, given their potency. It seems there is no way to remove one of these stains. That said, I haven’t tried bleach, because I don’t have bleach at the moment. I don’t know. I’m running out of rage. Stop reading. STOP READING NOW.

Something something. Tea is a hell of a drug.

Post-publication note: I really need to remember to spell check these thigns.


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