Another Swinghouse Post

You know what’s cool? Those swing band from the fifties. They were cool. You know, the style of music you’d imagine yourself hearing while wandering through a post-apocalyptic Nevada Desert, some broad singin’ at you over the radio to go get a job in order to fund her expensive lifestyle. Which was okay, because she was your broad, and you were wearing a suit, and because you were wearing a suit you could easily make all the money you and your wife needed. Of course, this didn’t turn out to be the way things went, because one of the following occurred:

  • The Cold War started up again and OH GOD EVERYONE IS DEAD
  • You had a kid and OH GOD CHILD-REARING IS EXPENSIVE
  • You had a heart-to-heart and OH GOD YOU WERE BOTH KIDDING YOURSELVES AND ARE ACTUALLY BOTH HOMOSEXUAL
    • Unless you are both of the same sex, in which case You had a heart-to-heart and OH GOD YOU WERE BOTH KIDDING YOURSELVES AND ARE ACTUALLY BOTH HETEROSEXUAL

Which, despite painting a very shallow picture of relationships, causes yours to fall apart.

You know what’s cool? The house musical genre. You know, the semi-clubey-kinda-hip-hop-electronica genre that’s big in Chicago. And France. Not the early stuff, that’s outdated. That’s gone. But the modern variations upon which one can dance. The newer sounds, where one must move to the rhythm of upon hearing, which of course through various poorly-reasoned links tends to lead to the following possible scenarios:

  • You’re at a dance club and SUDDENLY ALCOHOL
  • You’re in public and SUDDENLY EMBARRASSMENT
  • You’re alone, in private, and SUDDENLY CEILING FAN
    • Unless you don’t own a ceiling fan, in which case You’re alone, in private, and SUDDENLY QUANTUM CEILING FAN

All of which lead to a headache. Let’s just assume embarrassment can lead to headaches here.

As well as head trauma. Because I don’t think head trauma always leads to brainhurt.

Ignoring my rapidly-unravelling postulations and conclusions, both these things (house music, swing bands) can be considered to be negative, due to their eventual conclusions. So let’s multiply them together, eh? Swinghouse! Genius! Anyone with a braincell and a high-school education knows that things multiply together to be positive. And hence:

That’s multiplication, not addition. No, I’m not sure what the distinct difference is. Maybe bad swinghouse would be addition. Fortunately, there is no such thing. Yet.

AND YES I HAVE POSTED ON THIS TOPIC BEFORE BUT LOOK OVER THERE YES OUTSIDE GO THERE IT IS NICE THERE

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6 thoughts on “Another Swinghouse Post

  1. One of my favourite albums is a Swing/Electro cross-over.

    Bart & Baker present: Swing Party

  2. I must find this and immerse my ears in it immediatley. Thanks!

  3. Livia says:

    And now I understand the suits… 😛

    • Ha! No, there’s more to the suit than job prospects. A lot more.

      Well, not really more, but my reason for the suit is tangential to it. Related, but some levels removed. Similar in width, but at an entirely different height. And so on.

  4. Tom says:

    Only your brother has the guts to call you a rambling lunatic.

    James, You are a rambling lunatic.

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